Bad Malaprops

The humor is bad, but I approve of Mr. Thaves calling them malaprops instead of “malapropisms.”

…but he put “only” in the correct place, (next-to-last panel). But he should have said “The deck had” instead of “there were.”

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Many people put “only” at the beginning of a string of words even when the word they want to emphasize is someplace inside. Don’t do that. Put “only” directly in front of the word!

Here’s an example of someone getting it right.

Don’t put the “only” in front of “survive”!

This post first appeared on writing-rag.com.

People commonly put “only” at the beginning of a clause when the word actually modifies a word within the clause (for example, in the first panel below). The rule is that adjectives (such as “only”) modify the word following. Putting that “only” too early can lead to nonsense.

On the second try, this guy gets it right. Third panel. Think what he’d be saying if he had placed the “only” one word earlier, in front of “helps.” In this case still true, perhaps, but not his point.

By the way, in the fourth panel, that’s a rectangular prism, not a cube. But I digress.

PS—Here’s another typical incorrect “only.” Second word balloon. It should be “only last week.” (Ignore the “only” in the first word balloon. It shouldn’t even be there.)

I occasionally point out times when people write “only” too early in a sentence. Such as here and here. 

The rule is that in English (not necessarily other languages) adjectives, such as “only,” should come directly before the word they modify, particularly when you have more than one word that it could modify.

Sometimes the correct word is the first one! For example:

The donkey’s three-times-repeated reply is correct! He only wants.

The problem with “only” is that we tend to put the word too early in the sentence. I’ve mentioned this several times, most recently two posts ago. (Search for “only” in the search box in the upper right corner for more.)

The rule in English is to put adjectives directly in front of the word they modify, and usually we don’t have trouble with this, except in the case of “only” and a few other equivalent adjectives. Here’s an example:

Hurricane Helene is taking a stab at Category 3 strength in the remote Eastern Atlantic, where at least its prowess is harmless.

https://www.wunderground.com/cat6/Week-Landfall-Threats-Florence-Mangkhut-Olivia-Isaac-and-More

I don’t think the writer intends to modify “prowess.” I think the intent is to modify “harmless.”

Hurricane Helene is taking a stab at Category 3 strength in the remote Eastern Atlantic, where its prowess is at least harmless.

The writer could even make “at least” into an aside by using commas:

Hurricane Helene is taking a stab at Category 3 strength in the remote Eastern Atlantic, where, at least, its prowess is harmless.