A Little Vanity

I’ve been working at a remote location lately, so I rented a cheap room to eliminate the long commute. As it happens, the room doesn’t have internet access, and my access from work is somewhat limited. However, I managed to find a place exactly on the way from work to my room, and I’ve gotten into the habit of stopping there to do things like catch up on email and work on this blog. They’ve gotten used to seeing me, and don’t seem to mind that I don’t order a full meal every time I show up. I should add that the place just opened—the guy who runs an Italian restaurant on the other side of town bought a dive and cleaned/classed it up to be a neighborhood tavern with a nautical theme. It’s called Loafers, and it’s on Route 40 in Aberdeen, Maryland.

I decided to write a poem about the place as a thank-you for their hospitality. They liked it, and talked about framing it and hanging it up. Here it is:

Give heed to me, boys,
And I’ll tell you all a tale
Of a tavern in this town
That’s big as a whale!
It used to be a scow,
But now it is a yacht.
It took a lot of work,
But look at what they’ve got!
The grub is pretty good,
And so is the booze.
The only problem now,
Is what you’re gonna choose!
So come on in and sit awhile,
And even bring a friend,
And get a bite to eat and drink.
—And this is the end!

(Naturally I have to include some useful information about writing;) here’s a note about the meter. Think about the meter of a lot of nursery rhymes, such as Old King Cole. You can nod your head to the stressed beats—they’re all the same distance apart in time, but the number of unstressed beats between them varies. That’s the type of meter in this poem. It’s called accentual meter.

I wrote a couple more poems, about two of the staff—a limerick and a double-dactyl—and then another (a ballad) about everyone, but I’m not vain enough to make you endure all four. One poem is enough. But maybe you’re curious. I published them and several others over on allpoetry.com. I go by the name of hairface.