I Suppose He Got it Wrong On Purpose

Based on the aside at the beginning of the comic, he might be trying to be humble…

You see the mistake in the sign on his door, right?

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…and “that” refers to non-people. At least that’s what I learned in English class. Then I ran into this:

Volunteers looking for abandoned animals in rural North Carolina came across a cow who had escaped her flooded barn, but was having a hard time staying afloat in deep storm surge.

and this:

After what was surely a traumatic experience, the cow, nicknamed Ricky, settled into her new cushy life at a New Jersey animal sanctuary alongside another cow who had been rescued from Hurricane Harvey

and this:

It’s unclear what will happen to the cows who were swept out to sea this fall.

These are from a Washington Post article about some cattle washed out to sea by a hurricane. (See how I avoided using “who” there?)

It happened three times, so I don’t think this usage was an accident. I confess, using “who” feels, um, closer to the animals, as if treating them as individuals.

Maybe we can do this when we refer to our pets, too, eh?

Oh yes. A picture:

First speech bubble. It’s correct!

That “whom” sounds wrong because we’re used to hearing the subject of the sentence first. That ‘whom’ is really the object of “of.” You can also say that the “whom” is introducing the noun clause that’s the direct object of “know”!

To fix the word order a bit, you’d have:

Do you know of whom she reminds me?

Of course now you have a rather awkward question. I fear that “who” will become the only form to appear at the beginning of a sentence regardless of the word’s function in the sentence.

PS—If it were me, I’d write. “Hey! She reminds me of someone I knew.”

PPS—Since I ran into it today, here’s a strip that gets it wrong twice. Second panel:

PPPS—And here’s one where he gets it right. First panel.

This post first appeared on The Writing Rag.

First the comic…

Two lessons here. Maybe three.

• First: first panel. She’s actually asking “Who is it?” That’s correct. “Who” is the subject of the implied sentence.
• Next: third panel. He misstates her question, but “whom” is okay in his sentence. “Whom” is the object of the preposition.
• Finally: Her displeasure is appropriate, I suppose, but she should have used “who” because it’s the subject of the sentence.

I guess the moral is to be careful about whom you play video games with.

The rule:

• “Who” refers to people
• “That” doesn’t.

Here’s a good illustration of why this matters:

Is he referring to the ex-wife or to the phone message? Ambiguity is bad except in poetry and lies.

A writing tip: pronouns are supposed to refer to the closest possible antecedent. That’s why I avoid pronouns. Too easy to lose track of the antecedent.

These are possible alternative sentences:

• …message from an anonymous ex-wife who told me…
• An anonymous ex-wife sent me a message that told me…
• An anonymous ex-wife told me…

I suppose I could add that the doctor appears to be violating patient confidentiality.