Two Unrelated Lessons

The first lesson I’ve mentioned before: use the subjunctive with “if.” The kid doesn’t, which is incorrect. First panel:

He should say “If I were left-handed.” “If” implies contrary to fact, hence the need for the subjunctive.

So what’s the answer to his question? Could he be left-handed and right-footed? Yes! Herein lies lesson two, a vocabulary lesson. When you are right-one thing and left-another thing, that’s called being cross-dominant. I happen to be cross-dominant—right-handed and left-eyed, so that’s how I know.

What about you? Might you be cross-dominant?

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Here it is:

I got it immediately because the “nauseous—nauseated” dichotomy is one of my pet peeves.

Most people incorrectly say “nauseous” to mean “feeling nauseated,” and that’s how his two listeners took it. The joke teller used the correct word for “causing nausea,” hence the humor.

Get it?

I’m not sure about the grammar in that last panel, what the boss says:

I can think of three ways to say the verbs in his comment.

• I would have liked to see that a year ago.
• I would have liked to have seen that a year ago.
• I would like to have seen that a year ago.

Which one is best? Are the others incorrect? What are the differences in meaning?

In English, over time, compound words tend to go from two words, to a hyphenated combination, to a single word. For example, nowadays we say “today’s.” Here’s an example of how we used to spell it:

First the comic:

“Fat chance” and “slim chance” do mean the same thing. But what’s the name for the grammatical difference?

Don’t look. Try to figure it out.

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Ready? Well, “slim chance” is a declarative statement, “fat chance” is a sarcastic statement. Did you get it right?